Exhausted but Proud

My husband had major surgery January 28. We found out January 23 that he had a cancerous tumor in his right kidney, and we were told that the kidney had to be removed. CT scans and bone scans showed no spread of the cancer, thank God. My dear brother-in-law flew in the day before the surgery to be with us. The day he had to go home, my husband's cousin flew in to be with us until the day after Arnie was released to come home.

Arnie was in the hospital three days. His recovery has been amazing. We are both very grateful that things are going so good and that he is slowly feeling better.

Our positions changed the day of surgery. I became his caretaker, where he has been mine for so long. It has been tiring, but I am very proud of myself. I can't drive and he isn't allowed to drive for two more weeks, so I've had to arrange and coordinate friends and neighbors to take us places. I'm doing all the laundry, taking out the garbage, getting the mail, cooking (some) and cleaning. I've also done some of the grocery shopping and banking. And, like before, I take care of Montana's needs and my own.

I don't like to be in charge of things, I'm always afraid I'll make mistakes. So far, so good.

Montana and I stayed with Arnie in his hospital room every night. It gave all three of us a little comfort to be together. I also feel that when someone is at their most volunerable, they should have another person there to look out for them.

This has been a terrible time in our lives, but I have grown some because of it. I've discovered that I can handle things, and not do too bad a job of it, either. That has made my self-confidence rise a lot from what it was.

Hopefully, he will continue to heal and continue to remain cancer-free. I love this man who is also my friend, and I want him around for a long, long time.